Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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