Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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