I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
They have beer where we have blood.
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