dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
