she told me i tasted like america
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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