You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
