I understand Curling. That high.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
