I bet he comes in French.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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