Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
