Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
