was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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