I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm really busy with my period
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