I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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