that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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