There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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