It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
