dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
