I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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