i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
