God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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