I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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