So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
