I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
