Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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