Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You are a genius and a whore.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
