Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
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