I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
