i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
