Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize