I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
