His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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