i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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