Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
