I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
