Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
