how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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