So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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