You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
