like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You need Xanax blowdarts
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Damn victory sex feels great
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
