U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize