Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
