Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
