My boss' voice literally gives me gas
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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