you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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