yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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