Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize