I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i dont even know how to be here
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
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