guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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