He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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