I want to stick my p in your. b.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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