Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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