why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
