i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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