Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
