she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I think people are normalizing furries
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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