Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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