Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize