WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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