things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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