jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My breasts were aching with rage.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
