A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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