New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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