Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
