I hate all girls vehemently.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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