omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
