I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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