Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize